Im back in the US. Its been sometime now.

I described my time at home as Utopic to someone. Now that I look back, maybe it hasnt been utopic being back. But, things feel more comfortable. Comfortability is a luxury in which i take advantage. I hope that I dont abuse the feeling by only choosing things im comfortable doing, but instead using the feeling as a place of refuge when the world gets tough.

i read a friends blog today, and it inspired me to write. I have been very self reflective in the past two days. I have been confronted with a spiritual question, thus I have been thinking too much.

I got to the point where I needed to escape from Chapel Hill recently. To change the way I was acting, and the people i was around. In my attempt for escape I turned to Singapore, and my pictures of my time there. Never would I have guessed that Singapore would be my place of comfortability, of refuge. But its true, Singapore was a home. Currently, Im yearning to be at that home.

I knew that exchange students have times when the miss their time abroad. I just never expected mine. I guess Im ready for a temporary experience again. The unformilarity and the disconnection allowed me to be more free. That I miss. The freedom.

Freedom to move is the most important human right to me. I have dedicated my life to fighting for this right from here on. Its too important, and makes me sane.

Here are pictures of things that make me feel free-

Its been quite some time since last i posted. It seems to be a theme.I went to Laos last week and had an amazing time. It is a beautiful country. A Singaporean asked me if Laos (pronounced Lao) was backward like Cambodia. I was immediately offended. Laos is certainly traditional and very rural, but it is not backward. The electricity went out at random times. The Mekong was filled with shit and oil. The people live in straw thatched houses, and there arent many Western toilets. But the people appear very happy. Only once did someone beg for money from me. (Cambodia it was like every two feet) Lao PDR is a fantastic place, and I would move there now. Luang Prabang is one of my favorite cities in the world.Some things I will remember-

• A ten hour bus ride to Luang Prabang from Vientiane
• Being Afraid of Bandits
• Singing Lao Songs with Emma and Nina (two British friends that were great company)
• Swimming in the Mekong (oil, muck, weeds and all!)
• Banana Fritters and Beerlao!
• Paranoia!
• LP has a fantastic night market that I went out in everynight
• I saw the cutest kids (the country is like 50% children) - the one at Whiskey Village was so funny
• Laos Belts or Headbands
• Bowling Alley Blues
• Organic Farm at Vang Vieng
• Electricity going out with Emma trying to find L'Elphant
• Eating Indian and Mexican food in Laos
• Renting a moto and riding around with Nina and Emma
• Shruti, Chris, Rubi, Rosalyn, and Greg along with Nina and Emma- they made the trip unforgettable

My time in Asia is coming to an end- or maybe im just thinking it is. I still have two months but in the scheme of things, this is very little time. I would like to be home actually, but I dont know where that is. I dont feel a permanence here, a sense of belonging, and i think that makes being here hard. However, there isnt anywhere I really care to be. Chapel Hill is great, but things change and arent what I had before. Thats ok! I want change; I like change.

I think I just want to be somewhere that I can feel settled, and thats not Singapore. It maybe that I know that I am only here for a certain amount of time. Knowing that makes me want to leave even sooner, as oppose to CH I know Ill be there for a lot longer.

I havent made many new friends, but thats Ok. I have been doing a lot with my internship. I have gotten to know the people at TWC2 and they are great. So helpful, and positive. People that I really want to be like when Im older.

I have found what I want to do- work with NGOs, grassroots organizations and community groups. On what topic I dont know, and in what capacity, im not sure- but its good to figure out something.

Below are some pictures of the Bangladeshi migrant workers. I will post about my internship sometime. Ill probably copy a journal I have already written. Its informative, and thats what I try to be! Heres the pics!


Sha, an inspiration to me

a bangladeshi worker that has had many problems being in Singapore
Cuff Road Project- a free meal plan for workers that live on the streets and have no food- i go there once to twice a week.

OK, after being verbally abused about not posting by several people (thanks, I needed it!), Im writing again.

I anticipated forgetting to write as I never wrote a diary or blog consistently before. But two months break is inexcusable, so sorry!

Over the past two months I have traveled to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Phuket and Krabi, Thailand, Cambodia, and Hong Kong and Macau. I also went home and saw my friends and family in the US.

Traveling was everything I dreamed of. I also realized that maybe a life of traveling living abroad is not what I want for my life. I had always thought that I want to live two years here or there. To see everything in the world. But, after having seen many places I realize what I want most is just to meet more people, and to hang out with the people that I meet.

When I was in Cambodia, I met some great Khmer friends. I learned so much from that country- like how to see the good in life through really difficult circumstances. I wouldnt trade my experience there for anything. The thing that made that trip so great was the people though! Being there with my friends made it so much better!

Im having trouble posting pictures on my computer so Im not sure if ill be able to post- but I will try.

One thing I dont like about studying abroad is having to start all over every semester- there are some people that are still here, thank god! I guess I just start I would have all this energy to travel and explore- that i would have endless curiousity, however, when you live abroad you have to life! And that means that you get tired, you get homesick and you miss things.

Im so glad that I am able to appreciate the things that I take for granted. Both by seeing cultures that arent as blessed and maybe spoiled like how I live, and those things that you dont realize how much you love before you leave them.

Im going to tell a story... I havent told this story to anyone yet. Most of my stories I usually perfect after a while. Like what doesnt get a laugh gets scraped. But this story isnt funny, I dont think. Its probably anything but...

I arrived in Phnom Penh Cambodia. After taking a tuk-tuk (an open door cart pulled by a motocycle), I saw the most devastating poor country I have ever personally seen. Trash filled the streets. Trash and people coexist- as many live in the trash on the side of the street. There wasnt much infrastructure, something I didnt expect. In most southeast asian countries there are usually buildings- even if they are falling down. Phomn Penh, just had nothing.

This city once had 3 million people. Intellectuals and businesswomen and men. After Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge genocide- the city after three years of murderous actions had 40,000 people left. It is slowly rebuilding.

I went outside this city about an hour and half to Oudong Mnt. Here, my tuk tuk driver- So Phan- waited as three boys ran up to me and insisted on giving me a tour. I knew that i had only a ten in my pocket. There was no way I could give one a ten dollar bill, and nothing to the others- I was stressed. I tried to make it seems as if I could do things on my own- I wouldnt let them help me with things as if that would justify not giving them the ten. I thought to myself that "Im on a budget. Ten dollars is a lot of money. What will they do with this money?" every con when through my head, anyway to justify not paying this forced tour.

at the end of visiting mountain temples- which were beautiful- they pleaded with me for money for school. english school is extra, and they needed to get out of the poverty there family was in. However, unlike most of the beggars in Cambodia (children as young as three begging for money because their parents make them) these boys were 18, 16, and 15. Not too much younger than myself. If I pleaded for money from my peers I would be mortified, but these boys didnt see the shame. I ended up giving them a little money- not the ten.

I am so ashamed.

Its not what I wanted- but sometimes when we are faced with the choice to give money, and the knowledge that most use it for purposes we wouldnt approve of, we choose to turn away. Im not going to turn away any more. What they do with the money is up to them- between them and God. But as an American I am richer than any of those poor boys I saw. Even though I am really a poor college student using his whole savings to see SE Asia, what harm is ten dollars. Thats only one hour of work for me. That money they may not see for a whole week!

My friend Sarah and I walked through the killing fields where millions were killed in three years in the 70s- and a boy came up to us a walked 50 meters with us begging for money. He was four. I almost died. We just walked away in silence.

Cambodia challenge me more than I probably ever will know. But it also but joy to my heart.

After I walked away from that Mountain temple at Oudong- I went back to my tuk tuk driver and we explored all over that area. We walked into local temples. I was the only tourist for maybe a hundred miles.

I was in paradise. We ate a long house that had hammocks lined up to sit on- and then the cook would bring you your food- I sat and couldnt believe where I was!

When we left- we drove by the station with the boys- even though they had been mad that I only gave them less money- they still waved and smiled at me. This is what cambodia is like- happiness through devastating poverty.

I was humbled and changed.

That is only one story- there are many more. Many more faces out there waiting for us to help them.

Study abroad has taught me that people matter most.

It has been such a long time since I last posted. I really need to get better at this. I will try to catch up over break. I will post my pictures from my trips to Hong Kong, Cambodia, Malaysia and Thailand. Im really excited about going to those places.

Last time I posted, I think I was kinda down. I tried to post on kiatsu (sp?) culture. Im not sure if I fully explained it, but I dont know if it necessary to fully explore in this blog. Lets just say that education is taken differently here, and for that matter all over the world. One of the greatest pleasure while studying abroad is learning about other peoples education systems. They are so different; they have different outcomes, and different goals. Im not sure if I like the US system over the British system, but either way Im glad my program combines both!

Its crazy to think that I only have one week of revision (new British/Singaporean word for study), and then Im off traveling. I need to organize my trips still, but not nervous about getting that done. Many people here just pick up and go on the weekend. Its pretty easy to do that. Maybe next semester I will do that, but I doubt I can be so spontaneous.

Im really glad Im here for two semesters; there is still so much to see. I feel like I didnt do much each day- but looking back I have done a lot!. Singapore is a great city to keep you entertained. At home, I may only think to go to a movie or eat out, but here you can do so much! It makes me think that I just havent been creative enough to think of things to do at home- Next semester Im looking forward to seeing and interacting more with the Singapore I still havent met.

Im also looking forward to the new students. It will be weird to say goodbye to my friends- knowing that I wont see many ever again. But, its ok. I had a great time with them, and their lives with move on just like mine. I have learned to live much more in the present than the future- its the way you have to approach living during exchange- because things are so temporary. New students will be from all over too- and they will want to travel just like me. It would be easy to get in the same mindset that school is second here- but it actually needs to be first. Have much more invested in NUS, than just a fun foreign experience.

Im going to post some pictures of the Botanical Gardens. One day a couple weeks ago I went exploring there. It was really tropical and filled with people. It is a great place to go on a cooler day. Some place to go on a spring day (if there was such a thing)- too bad I cant take the Botanical Gardens with me back home!

cant right now because of my stupid computer and connection... will soon ( i hope)

Friends abroad

I want to take this post to discuss the friends that I have made since being in Singapore. Lately, I have been hanging out a lot with a group of about 15 exchange students. Some are from Sweden, France, Canada, Germany, and the US. I do have Chinese and Singaporean friends as well!

It is true that I am on my own a lot. Most of the time I am either in the library or my room, or doing something on my own. Being independent is great, but sometimes hanging out with others is important. It might be that I am introverted, or it might be that NUS feeds into this type of system. Most students here do not hangout with people, they are either studying on their own, working on a project, and in transition to somewhere else.

I find it really hard to get to know Singaporeans. I feel like on the surface the are really nice, but after the introduction bit, they dont really care to get to know you further. Now, this is a generalization. Maybe its just me? Yet, I have sat and talked to them and they tell me they hate this same paradigm.

It could change, but I think it may just be that Singaporeans live at home. They have to travel to and from home. They feel that what matters is the grade, not learning. I mean you do learn when you study, but here its more important to get a good mark, than make what you are learning applicable to life.

It shoulds a lot to what I was like in High School. My favorite teachers would be the ones that said, "listen, if you arent learning, regardless of the grade, than you will never grow, never be able to understand the world around you." I think that what study abroad is about. We are here to experience, just as much to read and study.

I thought before I came here that experience meant I had to travel, that i had to go to the different parts of the island and walk around, observe. Instead, experience just means getting to know people. Talking about things that they have done, and doing things together.

My friends from all over the world live this type of mindset. I have learned so much from them. One thing I have overcome is being so frugal I dont share. For example, when I was in Vietnam, I didnt want to spend any money so I woul get the cheapest thing, and that no offer it to anyone, even though they would offer me a taste of theirs. Also, splitting bills is the thing I HATE most about living, and studying abroad. Its so difficult. Being as inflexible as I am makes it hard, because i just want to get my exact change. usually someone ends up paying more.

But now that side of me has changed. Im not as frugal and unwilling to share. Im working on it but I have so far to go. Im not going to say that my selfishness is an American characteristic, because many of my American friends here are so willing to buy things or pay for others expenses. What I will say, is that it takes some growing up to be that way. I am the youngest person in my circle. Most everyone is 23 or older. They have lived all over the world and most speak three languages. they have lived and experienced so much more than I have. Im not envious, because I too will be someone like that at some point in my life. But they no that money comes and goes, it isnt what should drive you to do something or not do something.

Maybe Im too idealistic here, but its ok. I need to be.

Below are pictures of me with friends. This post was for me, so that I can remember. Hopefully, those that read this, think. Thats all I want it to do. Just make people think about those that are around them.

Vietnam!

Sorry all for not posting in such a long time. I was trying to post every weekend but it hasnt been that easy (more because I am lazy!). I want to try to post twice this week to catch up. This is a busy time of the year, but I want to put more pictures of Singapore online.

Recently, I have been spending so much time on NUS's campus. I really need to get out of my room and see what there is to do! As I make take these new adventures (like going to a jazz club last friday) I will try to keep posting.

Vietnam! I went to Vietnam a week ago. This past week has flown by. Vietnam seems like a blur, but there are so many memories that I want to share.

First, the schedule. We flew to Da Nang and took a train to Hue, the old imperial city. It was beautiful. We walked around the city, and at a local restaurants that were geared for tourists. However, I had so much fun trying Chicken Tacos in Vietnam. It was just chicken and cheese of a bunch of small sopapia type things!

We walked through the citadel, and was interesting to learn things about the imperial culture. Nine is the holy number, so there were a lot of urns filled with water all in a row of nine.

Below are pictures of the imperial city.







Next, I got my palm read by a man who lost his father to the vietnam war. He told us his story, and said that he was studying buddhism as a way to cope with his lost. He read my palm, and told me about my future. It was very interesting.
The next day we went on a bike ride to TU DUC Tomb. The bike ride was the best part. We rented bikes for the day which cost us 1 US$. The bikes were old and used, but they work. I didnt care because i was focused on getting us there and navigating through the traffic. The traffic in Hue was nothing compared to Vietnam, haha! There are so many motorbikes. The infrastructure is there, but people just dont follow the rules that are set infront of them. They have no public transportation, which seems odd for a Communist country. Youd think that government should fill those roles. Even if they did have public transport, I dont think people would use it. Family all ride on the same motor bike. Kids practice their skills with training wheels in the middle of dangerous streets. It was quite a difference from home.

We than went Hoi An which was very pretty but very touristy. I got a suite and white pants made at the tailor place. Hoi An is a UNESCO World Heritage site, so they are trying to preserve it. I find that by doing so it takes a lot of character away from this very unique place. I found myself more stressed that white people were around, than trying to talk to locals.

Below are some pictures from that trip!

these are silk worms. they grow the silk and then make the tailor clothes from them. this was a tourist ploy to get us to come into the store.
The next night we spent in Da Nang which wasnt very nice. We then flew back to Ho Chi Minh City. This city is amazing. So much traffic, kissing in the park, people asking for motorbike rides, and prostitutes. the people were so friendly, and Thuy are hostel front desk person was amazing. I did Ho Chi Minh on my own, because I needed time to myself after traveling with 4 other people I only met a month and a half ago. I met some people from the cast of Roger and Hammersteins Cinderella with Lea Salonga (voice of Mulan and Jasmine from Aladdin). They were so loud and open, and entertaining. I was really able to have fun being myself in a foreign country. We were still culturally sensitive, and always observing, but we also just relaxed. Something I found so refreshing!

Below are pictures from the las leg of my trip!
This is Ho Chi Minhs art Museum. The paintings were so dark, because there is so much pain and death in Vietnams history. However, the contemporary work is so much diffferent, and very uplifting!
This was our hotel. We stayed in the backpacker area, and it was a great experience!
The Reunification Palace. The last US helicopter left of this buildings roof at the end of the war.
An example of HCMC's traffic.

I loved Vietnam! I would definitely go back. I guess that Vietnam will soon be an example of how communist countries dont have to be 'backwards' in their development. The people seemed happy, and like they were moving on with their lives. There were so many mothers, fathers, and babies. This country, I guess, will be important 50 years from now.

Until next time...

Field Trip through Singapore

Today, I went on a field trip throughout the CBD of Singapore. I went for a class, and our goal was to decide on a group project. Instead, I just tried to learn as much about the people that I was with, and experience Singapore through their and my own reactions.

Im going to try to post a lot of pictures in this post as well. Last entry was a little rushed. Having now been back to Singapore for two weeks from the time I went to Indonesia, I feel even more at home. But seeing these unique parts of Singapore today made me become more enthusiastic about living here.

We began at Outram Park MRT (a train station). During the tour, we went to many Temples (Buddhist and Hindu) and Keramat. We look mostly at Singapore's syncretism of religious customs, and how they have changed the landscape of Singapore. I felt that this trip was very religion heavy, but I still learned a lot about the general (political and cultural) aspects of Singapore as well.

This is the back of Shophouses. These are types of houses in Singapore that originate from the Colonial period. They are being revived, and are usually painted unique or vibrant colours (see below). Notice my spelling of colors; Im becoming so Singaporean! haha
This is a keramat. It is a burial tomb of a Arab muslim women. Muslims (mostly Indians) come to worship here. It was a new concept for me. My teacher told me that this is were a lot of the syncretism has taken place. The worship of the dead is animism, or a traditional religious practice. But today, Islam is taken it under its wing. Fundamentalist Islam doesnt like it, so Malay ( where it originally started) dont really worship here any more. The yellow painting gives it away, as the color represents royalty in both Chinese and Malay cultures. However, the green that is painted along side represents Islam. So, here you can see the fusion of the two religions.

This is a Hindu Temple that we went in. They worship Ganesh (the elephant god) here. It was really interesting to see them circumvent( circle around- I think thats the right word) the alter. The religious are very different from the ones that I grew up with, and so I it was a eye opening experience.

This is a picture of coconuts. People sometimes use coconuts as a way to get out frustration, or let out frustrations about things. Or, I guess, its more of a way to ask for forgiveness and repent. It was something I had never heard before.

These are pictures of the shophouses from the front. This area used to be the Red Light District, but it isnt really any more. One thing I thought was interesting is that prostitution isnt illegal here. They thought since it would happen anyway, they could legalize and that way they have control over it. Yet, you would think this same philosophy could be apply to drug law, but instead, drug law is the opposite. They enforce anti-drug law severely.
This is a place where they sell live animals. It similar to any Chinatown in the US. However, they sold so many different animals, like these frogs in the picture. It was in humane how they kept some animals in tanks where there was obviously too many animals in the space. That kinda disturbed me. I also want to say that because of my chinese class, I was able to pick up on a lot of words in Chinatown. The class here is quite challenging and good.
This is just a picture of Chinatown. It has become very touristy. And most Singaporeans complain about it often.

This is one of the Buddhist temples we went to. It was very interesting. I had only been to one temple before, which was very new and commercial. This one seemed more authentic.

This is part of the Buddhist Temple.
This is another Keramat. It is one of the biggest in Singapore. We had to walk up the stairs. It also important to mention that all of these Keramats, and Hindu temples we have to take off our shoes. Its very common here. Chinese take off their shoes for their homes, but the predominately Buddhist Chinese dont take off their shoes for temple.

This was a snake charmer. It was such a tourist trap as it was downtown. But it was still cool to see.
This was an Armenian Church. It was so cool. One of the most peaceful places I have been. The cemetery out back was beautiful too. However, they are tearing down a building in the back of it, very Singaporean. So, its noisy and ugly to see.
This was the last keramat we went to. It was for the sultan of the area, I think. It was just so tropical and hot in this spot. I really felt like I was in a rainforest. Which i am!
This is the Singapore River. It was orginally the port of Singapore, but now it is a really nice area to just hangout. I think it is one of the nicest areas in the country, but there are loads of white people. So, I kinda feel at home, not like Im in Singapore, (sad).
This is the city!

I posted so many pictures. There is plenty to look at. I am going to Vietnam on Sat, and Im very much looking forward to it. I will post after I return.